Om VamPus

Bildet mitt
er Heidi Nordby Lunde, feminist, aktivist og Høyre-dame. Mer om Heidi. Kontakt meg på VamPus [a] gmail.com. Merk at kommentarer på innlegg eldre enn fem dager blir moderert - ene og alene for at jeg da får varsel om nye kommentarer. Leser ikke kommentarfeltet på gamle innlegg så ofte. Skriver du som anonym er sjansen stor for at det blir slettet sammen med spam.

onsdag, april 26, 2006

Forum Femina

Var innom Høyres Hus og kastet et blikk på den elektroniske oppslagstavlen for dagens møter. Høyres kvinnenettverk "Forum Femina" skulle ha møte. Er det en dyslektisk omskrivning for "patetisk"?

26 kommentarer:

Høire sa...

Hva med "Berte-skolen"?

(Spør noen med lenger fartstid, om du ikke har hørt om den... ;)

Drusilla sa...

"Femina"? Herregud, høres ut som et merke for bind eller intimservietter.Tror jeg holder meg til venstresidens "feministisk"!

VamPus sa...

Berte-skolen tror jeg eksisterer fortsatt.. Femina - kanskje mer i retning av inkontinensbind? Høyre trenger hjelp! Dersom noen var usikre på det..

Høire sa...

Man kan altså formode at vi, det ærverdige Høire, selv efter alle disse år, formodentlig ennu sliter med et visst "image"-problem (er så underlig med alle disse nymotens ordene som trenger seg inn i vårt lands en gang så stolte og riksmålspregede vokabular.. Nuvel!).

Men hva var det som var så galt med "Berte-skolen"? Berte var jo en alldeles fortreffelig politiker - ja altså, til dame at være...

Nei, slikt forstår jeg meg ikke på. Det er så forvirrende å lese avisene nu til dags - så mye gatesprog. Man vet jo snart ikke opp og ned på noget som helst lengere...

Mina sa...

Forum Femina? HJELP! Å, så glad jeg er for at jeg tilhører venstresia akkurat nå...

Anonym sa...

Yezzzz! Catfight!!! :-)
Hent pils og potetgull, gutter! Noen damer prøver å få til noe, mens noen andre herper: Topp underholdning! Fortsetter de slik, klarer vi dette i etpar århundrer til!

Anonym sa...

What is the difference between girls/woman aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58. 68,
and 78 ?

At 8 -- You take her to bed and tell her a story.

At 18 -- You tell her a story and take her to bed.

At 28 -- You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.

At 38 -- She tells you a story and takes you to bed.

At 48 -- She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.

At 58 -- You stay in bed to avoid her story.

At 68 -- If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!


At 78 -- What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you??


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Anonym sa...

Two men have been out drinking. they are walking home and telling jokes. As they are walking over this large bridge they stop to pee.

As they are peeing off the side of the bridge one man says to the other

"This water is cold" (man 1)

"YEA and it's deep too" (man2)

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Anonym sa...

Angry Midget

One day a man was pissing in a public bathroom and a midget walked in and set up a step-ladder. When the man looked down, he noticed the midget staring at his balls.

"Excuse me, sir," said the midget. "I was just really admiring your balls. Mind if I hold them?"

"Why not?" said the man.

So the midget grabs onto one of his balls and says, "Now give me your wallet or I'll jump!"

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Anonym sa...

School Play - (If this doesn't make you laugh, there is absolutely no
hope for you!)


Two little boys in first grade were chosen to be the leads in their first school play. It was to be a Shakespearean play. The first little boy was to say, "My fair maiden.... I have come to snatch a kiss and fill your soul with hope." The second little boy was to reply by saying,
"Hark! - a pistol shot!"

Well, on opening night in the school auditorium, the two little boys were a bit nervous, knowing that all the seats were going to be filled with grown-ups. The teacher told them to take their places on the stage and to remember to speak very loudly as soon as the curtain goes up.

The curtain rose and looking out upon the audience the two boys were terrified. They stood there frozen. So the teacher whispered for them to begin.

The first boy yelled out these unforgettable words..... "My fair maiden.... I have come to kiss your snatch! And fill your hole with soap."

The second boy screams out....."Hark! a shistol pot, a postle shiss, a pot of shit, horse shit, this is bull shit... I never wanted to be in this lousy play anyway..."

The audience left howling!!!


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Anonym sa...

Hello

Air Freshener

An Avon lady was going in an elevator when she suddenly had to fart. She promptly reached into her bag and sprayed the air with her deodorizer.

Two floors later a gentleman got into the elevator. he began to sniff.

The Avon lady asked' "Do you smell something?"

"Well, yes, I do" he replied.

"What does it smell like?"

"Hmmm, I'm not sure, but it kind of smells like someone shit in a pine tree."


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Anonym sa...

Martha recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his
ashes home.

Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the Patio table.

Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him....

"Herman, you know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the
insurance money!"

She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said, "Herman,
remember that car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the
insurance money!"

Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in the
ashes she said, "Herman, that diamond ring you promised me? Bought it too,
with the insurance money!"

Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, She said, "Herman, remember
that blow job I promised you?"

Well here it comes..........


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Anonym sa...

A little boy asks his father "Daddy, how was I born?"
The father answers: "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!

Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. "I upgraded my floppy to a stiffy and then your mother agreed to take a download from my hard drive.
"As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared and said: 'You've got male'."

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Anonym sa...

Eating Dogs

Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs."

"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."

Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk towards him. "Two dogs, please," says one.

The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs
in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the nuns hurry
to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs.'

The mother superior is first to open hers. She begins to blush and, then, staring at it for a moment, leans to the other nun and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"


Anonym sa...

The first people to make chocolate were the native people of Mesoamerica (the area that is now called Central America). These people - the Maya and the Aztec – used the pods of the cacao tree, which is native to Central and South America, to make chocolate.


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Anonym sa...

Hard Girl

Three girls are sitting around, totally bored so one girl suggests that they make up nicknames for their ideal boyfriends and name them after soda pops.

"I want mine to be 7-Up, 'cause 7 days a week he's up."

"I want mine to be Mountain Dew 'cause when he's in between my mountains, we'll be doing it."

"Mine's gonna be Jack Daniel's."

"You can't do that. Here we are talking about soda pop and you're talking about a hard liquor."

"Exactly."

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Anonym sa...

A man and his friend were enjoying deer hunting season in rural Michigan
near a blacktop highway. A huge buck walked by and the hunter carefully
drew his rifle and took careful aim.

Before he could pull the trigger, his friend pointed at a funeral procession
passing on the road below their stand.

The hunter slowly set his rifle back down, took off his hat, bowed his head
and closed his eyes in prayer.

His friend was amazed. "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing
I have ever seen. You are the kindest man I have ever known."

The hunter shrugged. "Yeah, well, we were married for 35 years, it just felt
like the right thing to do."


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Anonym sa...

Open wider

There was a couple going at it for the first time, and after a while, the guy asks the woman to open her legs a little wider.

She does and they continue.

A few minutes go by and he tells her again, "Open your legs a little wider."

She does, then he says again, "A little wider, hon."

The woman starts getting pissed off but she does it.

This continues until he asks again, "Can you open them just a little wider?"

So she finally yells, "What are you trying to do; get your balls in too?"

He says "No, I'm trying to get them out."


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Anonym sa...

Hello all from forum on www.blogger.com

Ways To Annoy people On The Beach

Ask everyone you meet, "Hot enough for you?"

Sing the "Barney" theme song as loud as you can.

If you see kids building a sand castle, say, "That's not a real castle!"

Every time when you're about to duck under the water, yell, "Down periscope!"

Go swimming in a full business suit. If people notice, act like they're the weirdos.

Put sea shell to your ear and announce to first person to pass by, "It's for you!" Repeat several times.

Throw jellyfish around.

Tune radio to all-news station and blast as loud as you can, then nod your head and snap your fingers like you're
listening to some happenin' tunes.

Act like a sea gull.

Wear t-shirt that says, "I'm the coolest dude on this pathetic beach. No autographs please."


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Anonym sa...

Teacher:- "Right, there are five birds sitting on a telephone line. A farmer comes along with his gun and shoots one of them. How many are left?"

Little Johnny:- "None Miss".

Teacher:- "Could you tell me why?"

Little Johnny:- "Well Miss, when the farmer shot the bird, the sound of the gun would have frightened the other birds away".

Teacher:- "Well, the answer I was looking for was four. But I like your thinking."

Little Johnny:- "Miss, while were asking questions, could I ask you one?"

Teacher:- "Its a bit irregular, but go on then"

Little Johnny:- "There are three women sitting on a bench in the park, eating ice lollies. One of them is licking the lolly; one is biting it; and one is putting it in and out of her mouth. Which one is married?"

Teacher (rather embarrassed):- "Err... I suppose it was the last one."

Little Johnny:- "Well Id have said the one with the wedding ring. But I like your thinking."


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Anonym sa...

A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical.
The nurse starts with certain basic items.
"How much do you weigh?" she asks.
"115," she says.
The nurse puts her on the scale.
It turns out her weight is 140.

The nurse asks, "Your height?"
"5 foot 8," she says.
The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 5".

She then takes her blood pressure
And tells the woman it is very high.
"Of course it's high!" she screams,
"When I came in here I was tall and slender!
Now I'm short and fat!"


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Anonym sa...

Hello, i am new on www.blogger.com :)
A beautiful young lady decided she wanted to get rich quick, so she proceeded to find herself a rich 75-year-old man, planning to screw him to death on their wedding night.

The courtship and wedding went off without any problem, in spite of the half-century age difference. The first night of her honeymoon, she got undressed, and waited for him to come out of the bathroom to come to bed.

When he emerged, however, he had nothing on except a condom to cover a twelve-inch erection, and was carrying a pair of earplugs and a pair of nose plugs. Fearing her plan had gone desperately amiss, she asked, "What are those for?"

The elderly groom replied, "There are two things I can't stand: the sound of a woman screaming, and the smell of burning rubber."

:D:D:D


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